When You Can’t Afford the Next Round

It’s important to have a system “Watch close now.” Bill, the first honest-to-god alcoholic I ever met, was demonstrating his “Five-step Magical ATM banking system.” “First, ya grab one of these envelopes they give away and ya press the deposit button.”  “Five hundred usually does it.” Bill pressed buttons. The deposit hatch chucked open. Bill slid… Continue reading When You Can’t Afford the Next Round

The Great Cheddar Debate

I have a friend who doesn’t believe cheddar cheese is dyed orange. He admits cheese is made of milk. He agrees milk is white. But, he won’t believe in dyed cheese. I google, I show him pics. I read him Tillamook labels. “Fake news,” he says. “Don’t believe everything you read.” “What about white cheddar?”… Continue reading The Great Cheddar Debate

Alternative Medicine

Kira’s looking gloomy when Roger gets home from base. “Uh-oh. You got a problem, Babe?” “A big one, Roger.” “You know what I say.” Kira nods. Smiles patiently. “Ain’t no problem can’t be solved with the proper application of high explosives.” Kira holds up a sheaf of medical printouts. “It’s a different kind of problem,… Continue reading Alternative Medicine